[2008/07/16 11:02 am]
Once my head got down to a "someone stabbing my brain with a fork over and over" pain level, my stomach stopped whirling and various other health stuff was medicated, I realized the person who made the floors comment is probably just as frustrated as me they can't do anything to help my health.. but they can help me with my floors and better some help than no help at all.
Boy, good thing I don't become a moodier, crankier, wench when tired and in pain, eh?
[2008/07/15 5:49 pm]
There's a whole list of consequences of letting an infection go untreated, particularly a dental one since the arteries are so close to the brain. So, needless to say, I'm not particularly thrilled I've been trying to get the abscess at the root of my first molar treated for months.
May of 2007 I required a root canal. My second, unfortunately. Lack of dairy in my diet, lack of diligence, some medication interference, and I have weak teeth. Gritting my teeth (so to speak) I go to my dentist (who I love, not just because she has small hands) and find out it's going to be a whopper of a bill. It goes on my Visa. (Still not paid off, in case anyone cares.)
Come January, I'm in for my cleaning and I mention to the hygienist that I have this weird, painful, bump near the root canal. My dentist didn't happen to be in that day, so she called over the senior dentist of the practice and he takes some x-rays, pokes, prods, declares it an infected root and recommends I see a specialist.
I see the specialist in the new year, he says he has to re-do the root canal, get rid of the abscess, yada yada yada. That'll be $1100 please. Go fig, I don't have $1100 and if I borrow it, it would count as income and I would have that $1100 taken off my disability. (Essentially, I would lose 6 weeks worth.) I wouldn't have land to have my home on, since I rent that, but I'd have a tooth fixed! Hmm, let's find a plan b.
Plan B is I'm on provincial disability and they're supposed to provide dental. They say they won't pay for any of the root canal. I try to find out why not, I try to find out how to get an exception, I try to find out who I should even be talking to.
Disability says talk to Pacific Blue Cross, who they've farmed their extended health out to. I talk to Pac. B and they fart me around for ten days. Eventually, someone from Victoria phones me back and says that I have to get my specialist to apply for approval, with such-and-such information, that will be denied, and I will then have to file for reconsideration through my local disability office.
So, I mail off the instructions to the specialist's office. (Who have been remarkably helpful and patient. Office and specialist have been fantastic. If you ever need a dental specialist in the Vancouver area, I recommend Dr. Bittner.) The clock ticks for a while and I get the paperwork back from them. So, I go down to disability to file for the reconsideration.
I wait for a worker to be available. You see, they don't have assigned workers anymore. This might mean you would know the name of the people who were dealing with you. This might mean someone would know your particular history, case and information and you wouldn't have to explain yourself fifty times. This also might mean people might get helped in an efficient and human manner. I see a very friendly gentleman, who seems very sincere in his desire to help. Some bureaucracy later and he says since a dental abscess, especially one that's gone untreated for so long, is life threatening (see that whole brain/infection thing in the link above) I should get my dental office to phone the 1-800 number on the MSP billing page and payment will be authorized.
Okee dokee, I say. I go home, I write up a fax, I send it off the specialist. The specialist's office phones to say the 1-800 number for MSP will not authorize payment as they do not consider it emergency treatment. I phone disability back to say "Uh, so what the hell should I do now?" and I get told to go to the ER for treatment by a lady who sounds like I'm the biggest inconvenience in the world.
Yeah, let me go to ER, where they'll say you're not dying yet, come back where you are. P.S. pay $5 in gas and $4/hr in parking for the pleasure. Somewhat discouraged and frustrated, I give up for the night.
Call me wacky, but I don't want to die. I know, I know, I have all these strange, dramatic notions. After all, I live in Canada, it's 2008, who the hell would die due to an untreated mouth abscesss when they have a roof over their head, food in their cupboards and no one willing (who can without consequence) to fund the treatment. I don't care who pays for it or how. I just want to be able to live my life, keep my house, and keep eating 2.5 meals a day. I have very lofty goals and notions.
Any way I fund the procedure myself (sell belongings, borrow money, etc) is considered income, no matter what I use the money for. So I either have to commit fraud and hope I don't get found out or keep praying the infection will stay at the mid-level its been at for the last two weeks.
Right now it seems happy to give me tonsilitis, sinus infections, a possible bladder UTI, an ear infection, lots of fun things. As long as it stays out of my blood, and don't travel out of my upper jaw bone, I'm fine. Unfortunately, there's no way to know how long that will stay there.
Today disability phones me to ask about my income for June (specify some details) and I say, "Oh, while I have you on the phone.." and go through the whole song and dance again. She says there's no notes in my file (this is my shocked face), she'll have to talk to the district supervisor and call me back. I didn't say I won't hold my breath. Surprisingly, she phoned me back, said the first lady had it right, to bring down my paperwork and ask for a reconsideration on the dental.
Of course, she told me this at 4pm and they close at 4:30pm and I'd have no way to get there in time. Oh well, first thing in the morning.
What gets me about this whole mess.. Here I am, freaked out (scared), depressed, frustrated and angry and just trying to get treatment. The reactions of those around me. Some have just stopped talking to me, some pat me on the hand and say "there there, you're overreacting" (Again, because who dies of untreated abscesses in Canada in this day and age?) and some have been genuinely sympathetic. My favourite reaction so far however has been concern that while I wrestle with disability once more, I might not be home for a contractor.
Hmm. Let me think about this. I should put my life and health behind having a perfect floor? I should have my house look spiffy for my estate sale? What? Or, should I sit around and wait all day for this guy, who has already established a habit of being hours late, hope he leaves in time for me make it down to disability.
Because you and I BOTH know that disability is going to fuck this up again and I'm going to be fighting for much longer than one five minute visit. Drug addicts in East Vancouver can get dentures, braces, crowns, bridges, whatever they need, for free, but can I get coverage owed me? Hell no. Why not? Because disability claims they already paid for work on that tooth, and they won't pay to work on the same tooth twice.
Good thing my brain is numbed at that logic, it means I can't feel the pain of the tooth.
Edit : For the 'she's being rediculous crowd' .. let me explain my mentality a bit better - What did Ashley and 37 other young adults die of last year in the U.S.A? Untreated infections.
[2008/07/08 11:02 am]
[From CBC.ca] Cellphone users with Bell and Telus are going to have to fork over a little more to receive incoming text messages, under new pricing plans slated to roll out in August.
Let me just say, this doesn't (directly) effect me since I'm on Rogers. But, let me just say, this is a load of B.S. YOU, the owner of the cell phone, can't stop people from txting you, but now you have to pay for other people's work? Anyone who has your cell number can send you a text message. That's friends, family, businesses, random spammers, bullies at school..
It's like being charged for people phoning your house. Not even if they talk to the answering machine, but just ringing. Unless you can suddenly set up a way to block txt messages except from select people, this is a supreme, blatant, cash grab from Telus and Bell and REALLY doesn't make me think fondly of either company.
[2008/06/26 10:37 am]
Big stink in Medicine Hat going on because of the British training center has 200 - 600 battle troops in town at any given time. Even though they bring in around $100 million a year in revenue to the town, most of the town bars have banned Brits from the bars because of the damage these troops supposedly do. But it's not just British troops banned, it's the regular citizenry too. A gentleman whose lived in town for years was turned away from a bar with his wife because of his accent.
Now, there's been suggestions of "fixes" even though the owner of the Irish pub sees no problems. (After all, he's getting to slowly poison lots of Englishmen..) I have thought about it, and I think the various pub owners should just start shipping copies of their security videos to the base's officer in charge of those troops with a polite bill. "Couldn't identify all these soldiers, please seek reparation from them after you repay us. Thank you." or maybe "Please pay damages, feel free to send MP with troops to prevent repeat."
Banning a whole type of people? That seems a bit .. uhm, lets go for the politically correct term of "extreme."
[2008/06/17 6:16 pm]
As some can see, I ditched Google Ad Words. I like to see what is being advertised on my site and they make it a pain. Not to mention I made about 1/10th from them that I did Project Wonderful. The ads may be worth less (supposedly) with PW, but you get paid for the 24 hour period you show an ad, not just how many clicks it gets.
While I was updating and playing with the PW code, I saw it shows my top referrers, so I was curious. One was "The View From Wisconsin" which is a blog from Joe and he reviews "Tux and Bunny - One panel, lots of fun. (Part of me wants to make the comment about "Not bad - for a girl - hell, that's not bad for Rambo!" here, but I don't think it'd be appropriate.) Our intrepid owner of stuffed animals has apparently switched fonts for her strip, but the punny humor is still there. As a Canuck, I should warn her that she's going to be getting a lot of five-minute majors for serial punning if she keeps this up."
Yeah, the font switch irritated me too. The for some reason if I don't anti-alias the fonts in PSP 12, they get laid our very strangely, but if I do, they're kinda fuzzy. I've decided to go with fuzzy until I figure out what to google for to fix it :) Thanks for the review Joe.. I do seem to spend inordinate amounts of time in the Sin Bin for punishment.. but that's okay, I'm catholic, I hear it's good for my soul. :) Hope the flooding clears up for you soon!!
[2008/06/10 7:35 pm]
Boy - I don't think I've ever gotten this much email before! :D Not even when I was making really un-PC jokes in the comic. Tho I did recieve an email telling me I was going to hell. (Hence every "Why am I in this hand basket?" comment on un-PC jokes there since.)
Everyone has decided I'm not claustrophobic. Since, that, apparently is only about not liking small or enclosed spaces. I have absolutely no trouble with MRI machines, train bunks, what have you. A few people have said I'm agoraphobic, but really, I have no problem with crowds, people or the outside world if there's no roof. I don't feel trapped, I feel I could escape if necessary. (How, subconscious? Are y'all gonna grow me a pair of wings??) My brother came up with an obscure term even google burped at. *grin* (My brother, the true brain and geek, has always been good for this.) But having tracked that down, I don't think it quite fits either.
However, what I did find interesting was Andrew (of no last name and hotmail address, but thank you!) sent me an article about adult ADD. He said one of the symptoms is feeling trapped in crowded places like theatres, malls and elevators since it's often accompanied by hypersensitive senses. (Mine are hearing, smell and taste. Occasionally touch, but I have to be quite tired.) I thought "ADD? But I'm not hyperactive. I wasn't even particularly hyperactive as a kid." Apparently, only 30% of those with ADD show any hyperactivity.. Instead the symptoms are..
1. A sense of underachievement, of not meeting one’s goals (regardless of how much one has actually accomplished).
Hmm.. I'm supposed to set goals?
2. Difficulty getting organized.
Once I set my mind to it, I'm actually a very organized person..
3. Chronic procrastination or trouble getting started.
I've always called this the laziness factor?
4. Many projects going simultaneously; trouble with follow through.
Er.. Okay, they got me there.
5. A tendency to say what comes to mind without necessarily considering the timing or appropriateness of the remark.
I *used* to do this.. and while I'm still very quick to respond, and often rather tactless, it's often intentional because the person has been pissing me off. People learn quickly not to ask me my opinion, because they'll get it straight up, truthfully and honestly! BUT, most of the time, I'm a fairly diplomatic person. I just have to want to be. ;)
6. A frequent search for high stimulation.
Hmm. I don't think so? I mean, I can't just sit and read a book, I have to have the tv on or the radio. And I can't just sit and watch tv, I'll read a book as well, unless it's a particularly engrossing show. (Such as West Wing) but I can't think of any high stimulation activities I participate in.
7. An intolerance of boredom.
*Grin* Isn't that the whole human race??
8. Easy distractibility; trouble focusing attention, tendency to tune out or drift away in the middle of a page or conversation, often coupled with an inability to focus at times.
In school I had a 40 minute attention span in class. It wasn't so bad when periods were 50 minutes, I could fart away the last ten minutes, but by the time I graduated they were an hour and five minutes, and that was just way beyond my ability. However, while I am easily distracted, and have trouble focusing, I would never drift away in the middle of a page.. nothing distracts me from a good book. :D
9. Often creative, intuitive, highly intelligent
*preen* Well, I am creative and very intuitive.. intelligent tho? Probably not. I'm of average intelligence but a high wisdom. (Did you hear that noise? It was my mother choking on her tea.) Seriously, tho. I may not always know the WHAT, but I generally know the WHY. I couldn't tell you why your relationship is failing specifically, but I can generally tell you what to do to be allowed back in the house.
10. Trouble in going through established channels and following proper procedure.
Bureacracy loves me! .. because I can't follow red tape tracks if my life depended on it. *wince* (And some might say it currently does. Shush.) BUT, I can follow procedure if I someone sets it out for me. Ie: Do a, b, then c, I will do a, b, then c.. however, if someone just says "get to c" I will look at them blankly. I'm also a SHOW learner. TELL me to do something ("make the bed by..") I'll never remember. SHOW me the making of a bed, and I'll have it for life. Erm.. remember that easily distracted bit? Oops..
11. Impatient; low tolerance of frustration.
*Cough* Not me.. no never..
12. Impulsive, either verbally or in action, as an impulsive spending of money.
I *am* terribly bad with money, tho I have slowly getting better. And while somewhat impulsive, I do have the knack of telling my impulse to go stuff it. I'm not sure if that's self-discipline (AHAHAHAHA.. er, sorry) or what tho. ;)
13. Changing plans, enacting new schemes or career plans and the like; hot-tempered.
Hot tempered, absolutely.. changing plans.. never. Once I set my mind to a plan, I stick it through. The caveat however, in that statement IS..!
14. A tendency to worry needlessly, endlessly; a tendency to scan the horizon looking for something to worry about, alternating with attention to or disregard for actual dangers.
Hmm.. No. Not at all. I mean, yes, I can be a worry wart, but I tend not to worry about things I can't change and just move on to things I CAN do something about.. and do something about them. (That impatience thing, I'd imagine!)
15. A sense of insecurity.
Nah. I'm actually one of the most self-secure, high self-esteem, arrogant, aggressive wenches you'll find. :) Even in high school (grades 8 - 12) when the bullies tried picking on me, I was completely oblivious.
16. Mood swings, mood lability, especially when disengaged from a person or a project.
Mood swings?! I'm female..
17. Physical or cognitive restlessness.
Ever since I quit smoking. That's it! I should never have quit! :D
18. A tendency toward addictive behavior.
Hmm. I'm not sure what "addictive behaviour" IS.. but looking at Wikipedia, that's not me.
19. Chronic problems with self-esteem.
Definitely not. *grin*
20. Inaccurate self-observation.
Oh hey now, that's just not fair! .. Actually, I think I know myself fairly well.. people's general complaint isn't that I don't know myself, but that I don't care about my (their perceived) flaws.
21. Family history of AD/HD or manic depressive illness or depression or substance abuse or other disorders of impulse control or mood.
Not that I know of!
So, do I think I have ADD? Probably not. Have I had problems keeping relationships, sure. Jobs? No, while I have job hopped, I've only been fired from one. (Which I wasn't heartbroken over.) And yes, I do have that lots of people in enclosed areas problem, but I think that's more the hypersensitivity than anything else.
I do share some symptoms, but I shared symptoms with MS and other things and I don't have that or them! I think it's like when you're a kid "My child has spots all over their body!" .. Which is a symptom of measles, chicken pox, etc.. Not specific enough. Tho, it would be nice to have a label to hide behind..
I guess I'll just have to stick with "quirky and irritable." :)
But thank you everyone for the feedback and emails! I loves hearing from you :)
[2008/06/08 9:33 am]
I'm claustrophobic,. Not in the traditional sense, enclosed spaces don't bother me much. In fact, I slept for years behind a half-wall at the side of my bed squooshed in so I had about 3.5" of space. A tall ceiling (or outside) helps, but really, I can survive MRI machines with only boredom.
No, my claustrophobia (which is probably called something else entirely) comes from when there's lots of people in an enclosed space. I feel I can't breathe, that someone's brushing my fur the wrong way, and like I have to run for the nearest exit and stand in the middle of a field for a while.
So, now, imagine if you will.. my generous, masochistic, mother decides she's had enough of the hideous paints in my house. (I swear the previous occupant(s) went to the hardware store and ordered cheap and ugly.) She said I MUST be sick of them after over five years. I said hell yes, I hated the pink in the hallway, the neon lime green in the bathroom, etc. I DID like the dark pink in the extension in the living room and tan/pink of the living room and most of the kitchen my Mum had done for me when I moved in, but she says it's not very sellable. Okee, that has to go too.
So, my Mother, who expected to spend two days, tops, at this task.. has *so far* spent four twelve hour days. With my Dad's help yesterday. (They're almost done.) My house is a fairly standard single wide trailer. It's eight hundred and fifty square feet (ish) and more than adequate to the needs of one woman and her two bunnies. Two bedrooms, an office, a fair sized kitchen, a living room. What more does one need? Breathing space!
My poor parents, every time we met in the hallway or living room, or.. I was snarly. I tried to just back-up and take a deep breath most of the time, but unfortunately, some jobs and situations just required I grit my teeth and bear it. So, here we have, my parents torturing knees and backs for my benefit, and I'm cranky and mostly useless for everything they're doing. (Due to MY Back issues.) I'm rather surprised they're willing to come back to finish the job.. but then, I suppose they're used to my prickliness from over the years. (Not to say I don't feel bad!)
Karma today, however, is I can barely move. I did 1/100th the work of Mum or Dad, but my left leg is locked, my lower back is on fire, and my right hip is kvetching up a storm. I can only imagine what kind of condition they're in with their own joint and back problems. (What's this genealogy stuff you speak of?)
Boy, they deserve a cruise or something.. Good thing they've already bought it themselves.. They'd be dead of old age before I could :D
[2008/05/22 11:34 am]
I sometimes feel very sorry for my doctor. Okay, not only does the guy have to deal with ME, the demanding, impatient, often grumpy from pain, patient, but he has to deal with the Canadian medical system, the disability system, and other stupidity that interrupts and interferes with his efforts to bring the best life he can for his patients.
He's been madly testing my blood every month to figure out why I'm anaemic. My thyroid seems to be cooperating (finally) but my haemoglobin is still low. I mentioned that I still have the abcess in my mouth from the root canal. He asks if I've seen a dentist, I said yes, he asks what they're doing about it. I reply nothing, Pacific Blue Cross wouldn't pay for it in the first place, and they won't pay to fix it and I don't have another $1100. He says he can't do anything about it. So, I'm pretty much stuck with a chronic infection until.. when? It goes septic and kills me? And his hands are tied. I know the frustration at MY end, but I rarely consider the frustration at HIS end.
There is no generic version of the drug that makes me pain free.. so I'm S.O.L there. While there are generic versions of Tramadol, they aren't the release over time and they'd just have me where I am now.. popping entirely too many pills to get by.
Some days I wonder why I bother getting out of bed. Other days I can't put up with the bunnies bouncing up and down on me anymore.
[2008/05/09 12:11 pm]
I can understand why the government says "No, we won't pay for that." I, of course, had hope they WOULD pay for it. Being painfree was very nice and I got used to it in a hurry. I'm back to not sleeping, being extra cranky and where I was years ago as I get used to the pain all over again. It's hard to deal with emotionally as much as anything else. (Save on Foods sacrificed a box of white chocolate + macodamia nut cookies to my depression for a small donation of $3.99.)
But as I said, I can see Pharmacare's point. If the pills enabled me to go back to work, I think they'd pay for them in a heartbeat and help me get back on my feet. BUT, since all they do is take away the pain (I still have all the nerve damage issues to deal with of leg spasms, foot droppage, etc) they say no. And, I can understand it. The money comes from somewhere. If they give ME the $107/mo then they might not be able to give it to Bob Smith who needs a medication that WILL endevour him to go back to work. I'm trying not to feel greedy and "But this is ME we're talking about!" and not throw a tantrum.
I did talk to Disability this morning and the counsellor I talked to said to find out if my doctor applied for brand name or generic. If he applied by brand name, it's almost guarenteed to be turned down, but generic might have a version that's been approved for "general use" and much cheaper. He said specialized medications are almost always turned down. He said he's surprised I'm not having liver trouble having been on acetaminaphen for 9 years. I said him and me both. He also let me know I'm good to get a new pair of glasses, I just have to find the money for the eye exam. (Grumble.)
So, the plan at this point is find out if my Doc did the paperwork by brand name or generic and go from there. *Sigh* But still.. I want the good drugs! I want them, I want them, I want them! Painfree was so nice!
[2008/05/08 2:41 am]
It's 2:40am. I've been awake since Midnight. For the last I-don't-know-how-long I've been going to bed around 10pm. I know this shocks those who have ever known me for any length of time in real life. I got very spoiled last week getting six hours of interrupted sleep at a go with the new fancy painkillers. A girl could really get to like that.
But, while disability argues on whether it's going to pay for my pills or not, I'm back on Emtec-30. Which means I'm awake every 40 minutes or so. Not used to the pain anymore (how fast I got jaded!) I gave up on trying to get sleep. I did lie on the couch and read for a bit - but a disgruntled rabbit hopped up and let me know SHE was trying to sleep thank-you-very-much. So, of course, instead of turning out the light and staring at the ceiling and thinking "OMG, I need to buy a fluffy duster thing" as I stare at the spider webs, I got up and dug through email.
I do have a prescription for the new drugs. But, my last batch of slow-release painkillers cost me $68. That was a few years ago, I'm sure prices haven't gone *down* .. especially since this is a new drug and has no generic. My doctor tried to get me put on a trial, but the fact I'm on Prozac means I don't qualify. So, back to waiting. I'm sure my American readers are thinking $68 for a month's worth of painkillers? A steal! And I'd agree, we Canucks are VERY lucky about the price of our pharmaceuticals.. but when you don't HAVE $68.. :D
Well, okay, I do, sorta. I know if I asked my family for the loan they'd give it to me in a heartbeat, but I'm still proud of the fact for the first time in (cough) years I owe neither Dad* nor brother money and really don't wanna get back into debt with them. Yeah yeah, stupid pride thing.
Gripe, whine, mutter, whine.
Hey, whining to you all got miracle to happen last time.. I can hope lightning will strike twice. :)
*- Overlooking the cost of a furnace, front porch, car repairs and uh.. nevermind..